27 Not Funny Anti-Jokes


No hahas, no lols, no hilarity, no lmaos, no comedy.


  1. What did the French accountant die of?
    A broken heart.
  2. Why couldn't the chinchilla see the violent movie?
    They didn't have the money.
  3. What do you call a group of 100 pedophiles?
    A lot.
  4. What do an Eskimo and a pizza have in common?
    They are both composed of atoms.
  5. What was the zombie's major in college?
    Undeclared.
  6. What's a snowman's favorite cereal?
    Whatever's on sale.
  7. Did you hear the one about the redneck and the blonde?
    I thought it was funny too.
  8. What's a nudist's favorite TV show?
    I forgot.
  9. Where do a Canadian lawyers buy their groceries?
    At their local store.
  10. What's a king cobra's favorite fast food restaurant?
    They don't eat fast food, silly.
  11. What's a corrupt politician's favorite sport?
    Who cares.
  12. What's a baby cow's favorite bedtime story?
    They didn't have one; they hate stories.
  13. What company does a modern day pirate work at?
    Whatever company is hiring.
  14. Did you hear the one about the snake and the burglar?
    Please don't spoil it for me.
  15. What do you call a Native American who's also a rock star?
    By their first name, probably.
  16. What do you call a stupid panda?
    Stupid.
  17. Why didn't the mouse want to watch the TV show about cheese?
    They were blind.
  18. What do you call a camel who's acting like a jerk?
    Don't respond, just ignore them.
  19. What's a farmer's favorite time of the day?
    Time to get a watch.
  20. Did you hear the one about the penguin and the milk?
    It wasn't that good.
  21. What college do elderly vampires go to?
    Not mine, I guess.
  22. How many druglords does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
    One.
  23. What did the serial killer clown die of?
    A rare stomach cancer.
  24. What do get when you mix a monkey with a bird?
    A mutation.
  25. What do get when you mix a grown man with a t-rex?
    A funeral.
  26. Did you hear the one about the monkey and the mayonnaise?
    Well, the deaf guy didn't.
  27. If pigs could drive, what kind of vehicle would they have?
    Hopefully a safe one.

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