13 Things to Do If You Suddenly Get Turned into Stone
Although it's unlikely this will ever happen to you, it's good to be prepared.
- Be really, really irritated with whoever turned you into stone and come up with revenge plots that you will never be able to follow through on.
- Try really, really, really hard to move. That way you can say at least you tried.
- Come up with stupid stone puns; that's the only way to rock.
- Count. Just keep counting. Forever.
- If you get bored of positive numbers, you can start a second count in the negatives.
- See how long you can go without thinking about penguins, and then keep trying to break your record. It might be hard to keep track of time though.
- Try to figure out what kind of stone you are. Igneous? Metamorphic?
- Sing some song lyrics and then get really frustrated at that one line you can't remember that will be on the tip of your tongue for the next 100 years.
- Give yourself an annoying superhero name that fits your situation.
- Make up a theme song for your newly created nickname.
- Long for the day that the Earth becomes hot enough for you to turn into lava.
- Or the day that you break down enough to become part of a pleasant, sandy beach.
- Find happiness in the fact that you no longer have to do anything, ever.