Sit in a tree and when people walk by drop mayo on there heads they will think it was the birds.
I don't think half these people realize how hard it is to smuggle furniture onto an elevator.
Take forever to cross the street while limping to make people think you are crippled. After reaching the other side, walk normally.
Start talking with someone who laughs a lot, then when they start laughing, say to them: I think someone needs to call the Funny Farm! (make sure it wont offend them first)
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.
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