Best Things to Do with "item"
Walk up to someone, look at them closely, then mutter into an item of clothing, "Suspect clear".
Take the first item on your left, put a leash on it and take it on a walk through your neighborhood.
Put an old item on your front lawn as if it were free, then when someone tries to take it run outside and accuse them of stealing.
Sorry, nothing left to see here at the moment.
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