Get an Apple. bite a chunk of it. go to the apple phone store. put the bit apple in front of the worker and complain someone bit your phone.
Turn your phone to airplane mode. Then toss your phone and complain that it's not flying.
Make a pet rock (if you don't already have one) take it to the vet and complain it hasn't had enough energy lately.
Go to the doctor office and complain that your butt has a crack in it! and then wait for the response
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