A friend told me he dug a hole in my backyard and filled it with water. I thought he meant well.

I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.

I have a photographic memory that was never developed.

Menstruastion jokes aren't funny. Period.

Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

Greengrocers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, take a leek, turnip the covers endive into bed.

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth, then it just becomes a soap opera.

I've accidentally swallowed some Scrabble tiles. My next crap could spell disaster.

Have you ever tried eating a clock, it's very time consuming.

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