23 Awful One-Liners to Text Your Enemies
There will always be enough puns to go around.
- Yesterday a clown held the door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
- The cat took up computer lessons in hopes of mastering its grip on a mouse.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- I used to like Russian dolls until I realised they were full of themselves!
- If you give some managers an inch they think they're a ruler.
- To the guy who invented Zero: Thanks for nothing!
- The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
- The best way to stop a charging bull is to take away his credit card.
- A circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny.
- Mr. Mushroom could never understand why he wasn't looked on as a real fun guy.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- It wasn't school John disliked it was just the principal of it.
- He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
- I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
- I couldn't work out how to fasten my seatbelt. Then it clicked.
- I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.
- Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
- I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
- I could not pull out of my parking space, so I used my back up plan.
- Don't drink with ghosts; they can't handle their boos.
- With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
- A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.