17 Ways to Be a Stupid Dumb Idiot
Why are you reading this list? You really are an idiot.
- Refuse to get off an airplane.
- Put braille on all the highway signs to help blind drivers.
- If you can't identify a song, use it without permission in a movie. The creators will sue you, and you'll know the song's name in court.
- When drinking and driving, leave your seatbelt unbuckled; it can be used as a bottle opener.
- Send starving children cigarettes to help them suppress their appetite.
- Spray your eyes with sunscreen so you can look at the sun as long as you want to.
- Eat a rock, but only if it's a smooth one.
- Rename North America 'India' because Indians lived here.
- Show up naked to the TSA line so you don't have to take off any clothes, speeding up the security check-in.
- Pull out your teeth so you can fit more Doritos in your mouth.
- If you have a hole in your shirt, just get the same shirt and wear it under the one with the hole. That way the hole will be hard to see.
- Make a Where's Waldo audio book.
- Reenact 9/11 to prove/disprove conspiracy theories.
- Get a skin colored tattoo so you can see how your tan is coming along by comparison.
- Print out your Facebook feed to reduce the amount of time you spend staring at screens.
- Add extra energy to your morning by replacing the sugar in your coffee with cocaine.
- Sell "Double Sided Tape", but instead of both sides being the sticky side, they're both the non-sticky side.